Last Friday, I joined many hordes of hopeful folks lined up in convenience stores across the country, hoping against hope to be inducted into that strangely surreal and utterly life-changing league of lottery winners. I took the utmost care in selecting my numbers, recalling any combination of digits with even the slightest modicum of personal meaning. With small, precise pen strokes, I marked a vertical line through the center of each number, just as the minuscule red type on the back of the ticket instructed me to do. I was not going to lose this thing due to a technical error, by god. My boyfriend and I walked our tickets to the corner tobacco store, picked up a case of cheap beer, and headed home to distract ourselves with said beer until that fated hour – 8pm – rolled around.
Not only did I not win, my lucky numbers didn’t bring me so much as a $5 consolation prize. I’ve played the lotto before and not won, but for some reason this lose was different. I felt defeated and depressed after the winning numbers were announced and I had triple checked my worthless tickets.
I think Dustin’s and my recent acquisition of the property next door to our home made me realize in more immediate terms just how much money, effort, and time it takes to build a secure and worthwhile home. Dustin spends countless hours each day planting seeds, building garden beds, deconstructing the dilapidated shack that sits on the property, and coordinating work days with our willing neighbors. In some idealistic corner of my mind, I had hoped I could win absurd amounts of money in order to ease his stress and drive our vision forward in an unencumbered and financially stable way. Laughably remote as it was to even entertain the notion of making our daily struggles disappear with one lucky ticket, it was a difficult fantasy to release from my obsessive mind.
Although I’m not coming to you today as a millionaire, I am writing this blog as a truly fulfilled and happy person. I’m fortunate enough to have a job I enjoy, a partner love with all my heart, an amazing home that gets better with each passing day, and friends who are enthusiastically willing to join me in the simple joy of climbing trees……just because the day is lovely and warm and we feel like seeing our everyday world from a new perspective……
….or risk looking the fool for the sake of pretending Meriwether Lewis and I are strolling arm in arm through the park.
Many thanks to Kelly Lynae for taking these photos and to Jessica Holmes for getting me out of the house on this day. And serious friend points to both for not questioning me for a second when I said I was in the mood to party with some bronze statues in front of the capitol building. True friends don’t laugh at the silliness of it all – they join the party.
