Ho-hum skinny jeans and tank top collide with red coral and turquoise Tibetan breastplate:

The New York Times says the fall runways abound in “harmonious collisions“–Ruth La Ferla’s elegant euphemism for fashion mashups. I was feeling a bit the collision myself last night after jumping off Evel Knievel’s motorcycle (a.k.a, the Thai moto-taxi who drove me down Chong Nongsi doing a breezy 65mph).

Ten months ago, I left 90% of my wardrobe in a restaurant storage closet in Phnom Penh. Long backstory. Cambodia being tropical temperature, my beloved clothes proceeded to grow technicolor mold. My good friend has been assiduously removing the Spore Life with a spray bottle of grain alcohol and water, and will be arriving in Bangkok tonight with my resurrected clothes in tow. Which brings me to the subject of today’s post: What to wear when you’re waiting on your fashion mule:

Tank top: J. Crew

Skinny jeans: Genetic Denim (Fancy Pants, Boise)

Soda water is perfectly legal, but there should be a law against dry cleaners that close at 6pm. Yesterday I ran out of clothes–shirts that don’t double as underwear; jeans that hadn’t been worn so many times they stand on their own two legs. When you must wear something predictable and shopworn, pair it with an over-the-top ethnic breastplate. I received a lot of compliments yesterday on my mashup. As long as the coworker wasn’t within whiffing distance, I nodded a demure “thank you.”

Tibetan ceremonial breastplate: Armor Bijoux (Christmas present from Bethany Walter)

Having to photograph myself this week gave me a new appreciation for the contortions Nicole Orabona pulls off. But as G.K. Chesterton said, “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” And while you’re at it, why not have cheesy fun with FxCam filters? Oh, Nana Chen, please come back!

Only do this alone. Say “David Bowie” ten times and then open your eyes.

Saddle oxfords: ZARA (Bangkok)

Jacket: AXARA Paris (Saigon)

Belt: Fly Now (Bangkok)

Days after styling me in the green hot chili peppers dress for last week’s FU / ASS posts, Asia Street Style’s Nana Chen came across this new Dolce & Gabbana creation in American Elle. Apparently, the collective unconscious is a Thai-Mexican love child. Nana will be returning to Bangkok in March. Thank goodness I’ll only be photographing myself for two more weeks.

If Robert Frank could be resurrected and rephotograph The Americans, he’d find a lot of us in mirrored elevators in Bangkok, Shanghai, and Hong Kong, taking furtive photos of ourselves at work.