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For her there were only two times: dawn and dusk.

At dusk she would take her insomnia to the old post office. She was dead tired of striving and crisis! She wanted to live in the land of Blake-light and emptiness, of PO boxes stuffed with gold doubloons, of civic hallways in which only her footfalls echoed back.

For her, the illogic and moral relativism of fairy tales had long felt true to life. The bony witch is named Esmerelda. You will find a cat that will try and scratch your eyes out–you must give it some ham. You will find hounds that will try and eat your feet–you must feed them some rolls. Having her expectations upended is what kept her moving.

Forward, backward, under, over. She had been waiting her whole life for something good to happen from which there would be no turning back.

“The creative struggle, my heart to your cause,” his text message read.

Hands were both alien and sexy. She worried she could not focus on more than one thing. She could either sleep or await his letter.

The deep lines in her face were from looking away. Suddenly, they were getting shorter. When his letter arrived it wasn’t a letter at all but a wax cylinder. There were two short lyrics penned on the plain brown wrapper: “They blew on the wax while I was singing. They blew on it and my voice stayed.”

Photography by Bethany Walter

hand of Fatima necklace: Morocco; batik skirt: vintage 70s, Jakarta; cashmere tanktop: charity shop, London; ballet flats: J. Crew; gold ring: who knows

 

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Leave it to the Welsh to have a word for it. Hiraeth: (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.

In the sunset of dissolution, Kundera wrote, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the guillotine.

Kim Philley

It’s Thanksgiving week in the U.S., and many of us are homeward bound. We’re wrapping up work and boarding planes, trains, and borrowed cars–transmigrating worlds. Which is greater, Buddha asked, the tears you have shed while transmigrating and wandering this long, long time–crying and weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing–or the water of the four great oceans?

Kim Philley

This is greater, Buddha answered, the tears you have shed while wandering on.

Kim Philley

I’m still addicted to the wandering on, to samsara, to the world of fabrications. I stumbled upon this immaculate cashmere and wool coat in a Boise consignment store; when I saw it was lined in pale lavender silk with leather-cuffed arms long enough for Gumby, I had to have it.

I believe in warmth and style for the wayfaring–for the long commutes to the homes we cannot keep but are with us now.

 

 

 fabulous photographer: Bethany Walter

Wool-cashmere blend coat with lavender silk lining: Liakes (Piece Unique consignment, Boise); jeans: Rich & Skinny (Fancy Pants, Boise); batik top: Anthropologie; Cece suede ballet flats: J. Crew; snakeskin belt: Bangkok vintage; jade earrings & jade ring: vintage

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There are few things as salubrious as silk in October, cabernet to fill a plastic cup, and a hay-bale seat at Anna Demetriades’s wedding.

Kim Philley

But while I’m at it, let me tell you what they are:

ambience

troubadours!

Bethany Walter

kohl-eyed photographers

Roots Natty

Kim Philley

Twin Peaksian backyards

 & gilded bum rush fleurs-de-lis

Kim Philley

Congratulations, Anna & Dustin! Remember to drive west till you hit the ocean.

 

silk dress: Nicole Miller Collection; jacket: AXARA Paris; antique necklace from God-knows-where purchased at a Chiang Mai carpet store; J. Crew Cece suede ballet flats

photography by our gal Friday, Bethany Walter

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