I stayed up late last night pursuing happiness in the guise of a few decent self-composed fashion shots. I ended with a complete and utter ruined self-esteem, as ass-faced ridiculousness unfolded pose after pose after unrelentingly bad pose on my digital screen.

The winter, honestly, makes me want to don a designer snuggie and call it a day. The last thing I feel like doing, especially on bitter nights of the soul, is dress up. But one must do what one must do.

I survive to face the out of doors with vintage Pendleton, 100% wool garments made in Portland, Oregon back in the day. A brand designed so thoughtfully for that fashion-forward 60s lady braving a Portland winter, when the ocean-fed windchill and bleakness in the gray sky overpowers everything but the bright, warm cherry red of your skirt. As you work it, baby. Work it. Pendleton red 100% wool skirt ($3.75, thrift store). Pendleton houndstooth wool jacket ($9.75, thrift store).

These Frye Boots (the “Dorado Short” in sand) are a recent rash pursuit of happiness. They are benchcrafted antique leather. And, um, $400. More expensive than my car. So unlike me. But my mom gave me half the cost as my Christmas gift. (Thanks so much mom!) And the rest I just sucked up, because sometimes, that’s what happiness takes. Pain.

For a net gain. A.B. Byer tan knit top ($? From Macy’s like 10 years ago). I always try to get rid of this shirt but then it randomly becomes the only thing that works for one particular outfit and receives a stay of execution for another full year until the process repeats itself. One day, top. One day.

Copper wrapped turquoise corded necklace (gift from Anna D! Thanks Anna D.) It matches the copper/silver/gold bracelet that is a permanently borrowed gift from my lil sis. Peacock bangle ($5, Buffalo Exchange, ABQ). RipCurl watch ($35, Whiskey Militia).

Kelly Lynae also saved me on par with Pendleton with these fantastic 18th hour (and the clock is running out on Thursday) photos. So blessed to have you in my life, Kelly.

For more on the pitfalls of pursuing your bliss, join the frivolous posse on Dec. 26, the day after Christmas, for Story Story Night’s HAPPINESS: Stories of the Pursuit at the Rose Room. Advance tickets and more at www.storystorynight.com.

♫♪ When the weather outside is frightful, sweaters are so delightful. As long as they have some holes. For a touch of ho, when it snows, a little ho. ♫

Or, to channel Bette Midler: ♫ From a distance, this sweater looks demure and green… ♪

♪ But my snow capped mountains…white. ♫♪

Anthropologie green wool sweater ($40-Buffalo Exchange, Albuquerque). It’s a white elephant gift, my little Christmas present to you, this smutty, sing-songy peek at my holey sweater collection. But bear with me, because in the cold season, holey sweaters make a classic, yet warmly provocative, offering. Holes give a sweater needed sex appeal, texture drama and welcome breath of fresh air on those alternately bitter/stuffy winter days.

Er-hem. ♫♪ I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones you used to know… ♫♪

♫♪ Where pale skin glistens, and people lean in, to see what’s going on there below. ♫♪Kenzie wool sweater ($12-thrift store). I know, I know. I’m ruining them for you. Those holiday classics. Well, if that’s what it takes to keep you out of department stores. (Though the core of these clothes are from the extreme sales racks at department stores, back when I shopped only the extreme sales racks at department stores, before I saw the light of thrifting.) Banana Republic tiered velvet skirt ($30? It was a long time ago), Nine West bow-tie pumps ($20, original MSRP $80-from some going-out-of-business department store in Albuquerque).

I know, it’s killing Christmas and all (self-)respect for me too, but I can’t stop. I just can’t stop. ♫♪ Prudolf, the red-topped angel, had a little heart of gold… ♫♪

♫♪ Except when she bent over, then her chest got really bold. ♫♪
Cristina red silk/nylon/angora/lambswool sweater ($3-thrift store).

When 18, I went on a foreign exchange trip to Russia, living with a host family in a small two bedroom apartment in Noginsk, due east of Moscow. It started innocently enough in the fall, with long walks around parks with lingering Lenin busts, but then winter came. Bitter, bitter winter. Temperatures reached record lows. For Russia. Of minus 40 below.

This red scare has defeated great armies, also pale Americans. My nose hairs would ice up and exposed skin turn a freezer-burnt purple immediately upon contact with the out of doors.

The piercing cold has come to Boise, so this is my homage to commie red. All I want to do is hunker down at home, drink tea, spin vinyl and read Russian novels.

Anna and Frank red silk top: $2 (thrift store). Maroon pleated skirt: $2 (thrift store).

Red front clasp belt: $2 (thrift store).

Pendelton red wool jacket: Free (passed down from a 90-year-old woman my mom house cleans for who must have been some serious bad ass business lady of exactly my proportions).

Comfort by Rockport orange suede leather sneaks: $4.99 (thrift store).

 Outfit styled by Kelly Lynae. Photographs by her любовник, Jason Willford. Легкомысленная Вселенная живет в вас! (Translation: “Frivolous Universe lives in you!” I would be so good at writing commie fashion slogans.)